Forty

I'm 39. 40 isn't right around the corner, it's dead ahead. I'm staring down the barrel and 40 is pulling the trigger. Yeah, that's a little dramatic. I know, I know. I'm not dying, 40 is just a number, lots of people have turned 40 and they continue to live lovely lives. But I don't feel FORTY. And it really isn't so much that I think 40 is 0ld. It isn't. I just don't feel IT. Although I'm not really sure how IT is supposed to feel, so maybe I do.

I suppose I'm what's referred to as a "late bloomer." I didn't consider this because, well, I "bloomed" physically before most girls did. But, I spent my 20's trying to figure out who I was. ALL of my 20's. I had a failed marriage, I got an undergraduate degree I'll never use, I started a graduate degree that I'll never finish, and got another degree: A BFA in Interior Design. I fully intended to put that one to good use. Then I fell in love and started a family.

I didn't meet my husband, John, until I was almost 30. Like a month before. (My mother said I'd meet him before I turned 30 and she was right.) I was still in school and honestly wasn't looking for a relationship. But, well, you know how that goes. We got married a year before I finished school and I was pregnant with Miles (barely) when I graduated. We had Miles when I was 33 and Elise 3 days before I turned 36. I never wanted to put my kids in daycare. It was something John and I discussed before we got married and we agreed that I would take care of our children. So, I always knew that my career would be put on hold until the children were school aged. This is something my brain and being understood. When Elise starts kindergarten or perhaps in preschool several days a week, I would be able to start doing some designing. I figured she'd be about 5 when I would have the time to work.

What I didn't realize, what my brain and being did not process, was how old I was going to be when she turns 5. I know that's silly. I know how old I was when I had her. It should follow that I know how old I'll be at any age in her life. Well, there was a definite gap there. In fact, I'm still not entirely sure how old I'll be when Elise starts kindergarten. (Okay... She was born in Nov. '08 and can start kindergarten the August before she turns 6, which will be... '14, which is 2 1/2 years from now, which is the year I turn 42.) 42. (Isn't that the answer to the meaning of life?)

I will be 42 before I can start my career. Wow. This is going to take some getting used to. Maybe 40 won't so bad.

Bread=Candy

About 2 months ago, I took the whole family off grains and legumes. Miles (my 6-year-old son) was having some behavior issues at school and the possibility of ADHD was brought up. So, I made an appointment with a Behavioral Pshychologist and looked into diet as a cause for, or a means of helping control, Miles' behavior. I have a friend who recommended the Paleo diet, so I did a little bit of research and then took the plunge.

Well, 2 months later, I haven't seen a huge difference in behavior when Miles has had grains. He's adjusting well to his new classroom (which he moved into the same time as starting Paleo)and the psychologist determined that he does not have ADHD. (I have noticed that sugar throws him into a tail spin!) Miles did come home with a white slip yesterday, but it was his first this quarter.

So, I've added whole grains and organic peanut butter back to the kids' diets (I'm staying on Paleo). Well, you'd think this bread was made of candy the way my kids have been asking for it. They went through a whold loaf over the weekend. Miles asked for a sandwich for breakfast this morning (I talked him into an egg and made him a pb&j for lunch). Elise has had 3 slices of bread so far today. Just bread. She didn't want cheese or anything else on it.

I'm going to assume for now that the white slip immediately following resumption of bread consumption was an annomoly. If he comes home with another one before the end of the quarter, the bread is going bye-bye.

Post Its

I've thought about writing a blog for a while now. I even had some ideas written down on Post-It notes. Of course, my 3-year-old, Elise, likes to take them and draw on them, so I have no idea where they went. And since it's been more than 30 seconds since I wrote down what I wanted to remember, I can't remember what any of it was. I'm sure it was something clever. Or not. They'll turn up one day, when I'm not looking for them and when they're totally irrelevant.

In the meantime (which is really all we have), I'm going to wing it. I'll probably jot some stuff down on Post-Its and lose them, as well.

I don't know that I have anything worth-while to say, so I guess we'll see what happens. I also don't have a handy premise around which to blog, like a cookbook, or a vacation, or an interesting job. I'm a mom and a wife, primarily. I have degrees, but I haven't used them much, lately. I'll get into that more, I'm sure. I like the idea of having a theme, or a premise, but I could think about that forever and probably never come up with anything, so I'm not going to try. Let's just pretend that there's a clever premise, and a clever title, and that I write clever things. If I happen to come with anything that fits those subjects, I'll write it down on a Post-It.